I’m slightly deluded in the fact that I feel like people don’t really care. No one really ever asks you how you’re doing or how you feel.
Those days when the loneliness becomes overbearing, no one’s there or you’re too afraid to make contact because you fear you’d just be a burden. Then you look in the mirror and see a girl haunted by her mistakes. Alone and afraid because things never seem to go right.
Either sleep too much or not enough.
Eat too much or not enough.
And you fear you’re going mad because you’ve become so forgetful. You constantly lose focus or you can’t spell. Sometimes, words become hard to say and you just look like an idiot, mouth agape but with nothing coming.
Sometimes you make careless decisions and you’re not sure why. You spend money you don’t have and lay in bed at night questioning if you’re alright. Sometimes, you ask yourself if the symptoms are there. Sometimes, you’d like to believe that it’s all in your head.
But you don’t know.
You never know.